When TSHA was 21 and struggling with depression, she had a vivid nightmare that she fell through a frozen lake and sank to the bottom. The striking imagery and heavy emotions of the dream stuck with her over the years, even as she pulled herself out of that dark period.
On the cover of her soon-to-be-released sophomore album, Sad Girl, TSHA revisits the frozen lake. This time, she's floating triumphantly above it, lounging like a glittering goddess atop a small iceberg. (She posed on actual ice for the stunning Theirry Mugler-inspired shot.)
Out Sept. 27, Sad Girl is the soundtrack to the in-demand British DJ/producer born Teisha Matthews' coming of age in the small, mostly-white town of Fareham. She's come a long way from her difficult teen years thinking she'd never make it out of her hometown, but the album brings her back to that bedroom, where she found solace and escape in the radio.
In spite of its name (a wink at emo MSN screen names), the album is overall upbeat, optimistic and rich with TSHA's intricate productions. With a healthy dose of '90s and '00s dance music, R&B and pop, TSHA deftly transmutes these formative sonic influences into modern dance pop bops, filled with reminders to her younger self that it's going to be OK.
Read more: 5 Emerging Artists Pushing Electronic Music Forward: Moore Kismet, TSHA, Doechii & Others
"Girls" is an electro bop celebrating the healing power of going out with your girlfriends, while the sweeping instrumentation that opens "Green" evokes the triumph of Cher's 1998 classic "Believe." On "Green," "In The Night" and “Fight” TSHA debuts her own vocals, further proof that she's really come into her own as an artist at the forefront of emotive dance music
TSHA has received countless accolades for her music, which she debuted in 2018 with the self-released Dawn EP. Since then, she's played nearly every major club and festival on the global DJ circuit, been named MusicTech's 2022 Producer of the Year and BBC Radio 1's first-ever "Future Artist" in 2021, gracing the covers of dance imprints Mixmag and DJ Mag, and winning the latter's Best of British Awards Best Album for her debut album *Capricorn Sun.
Amidst a never-ending DJ schedule, TSHA has found more balance and presence. She makes time to do something outside of her hotel in every city she plays and is focused on self-care and the things she can control instead of external validation. A move from London to sunny Ibiza — where she's a regular at DC-10, Hï and other major clubs — eight months ago has also lifted her spirits. The resulting Sad Girl not only provides immersive sonic healing, but shows TSHA standing in her artistic power as someone equally at home serving up euphoric dance pop bangers and introspective electro R&B.
GRAMMY.com sat down with TSHA to explore the nostalgic club soundscape on Sad Girl, the magic of Ellie Goulding's songwriting and voice, finding peace in an in-demand schedule, and more.
This interview has been lightly edited for clarity.
The press release for Sad Girl says the album embraces the genres that you've always been interested in. I hear '90s rave, '00s pop and R&B — could you speak to some of the sonic inspirations on this album?
I was thinking about stuff that was on when I was growing up; things on MTV, on "Top of the Pops," on the radio. I didn't really have a lot of CDs or anything growing up, it was more like you just got what was given to you… like Craig David, JoJo, drum and bass, Massive Attack, and a bit of house music because my brother was a DJ. Then there was Cher's "Believe" — I'll always remember that because I recorded it on tape on a ghettoblaster when I was a kid.
It's all those little sounds and things that are very nostalgic for me and remind me of that period — an amalgamation of the bits and bobs that seeped into my consciousness growing up — and that bring me back to that place when I hear them. That is the base of the sounds of the album.
What emotions came up for you going back to that childhood place? Was there any healing you felt in making an album dedicated to that time of your life?
Yeah. I had quite a lot going on when I was growing up; there was so much change happening in my house. I was quite a sad girl. I still am really, at the core, a terrible emo. [The album] brings me back to moments in that time where I was going through stuff, and that's why I ended up calling it Sad Girl, because [this type of music] was the soundtrack to my younger self into my teenage angst period. These were the things that I would sing along to.
It did bring up a lot of stuff, and it was actually a bit healing because I've come such a long way. I would have never imagined being where I am now — that seemed impossible when I was that age — [even] that I would make it out of my hometown, full stop. We weren't very well off growing up, so [I couldn't imagine] actually being able to go on holiday, to go on a plane. It was healing because I went through all these emotions and thoughts of being a sad girl thinking that I was never going to get out, but I did.
The album art is inspired by a dream you had when you were younger about being trapped in an icy lake — but in the photo you're looking iconic on top of the ice. I was thinking of that visual when you were describing getting out of your hometown; can you talk about the dream and reimagining it as triumphant in the photo?
I had that dream when I was 21, which was the worst period of my life. I was at my lowest and everything bad that could happen had happened. I was in this dark hole and I had this very bad dream. That dream always stuck with me because it was so realistic and it felt like it actually happened.
When I was thinking about doing the artwork and being a sad girl, I thought back to that dream. I wanted to have a positive spin of I've come out the water and I'm on the ice and I've pulled myself out. I also wanted it, obviously, to look cool. I was like, I want real ice. I will lie on this iceberg. [Chuckles.] It was freezing.
I love the energy of "Girls" with Rose Gray. What were the sonic inspirations on that track and the energy you're capturing on it?
The inspiration was 2000s electro. I was thinking about that period when I was a teenager coming into a young adult, when I could go out. That was the music that was popping off then. I wasn't club clubbing back then, but I remember seeing videos of Ibiza and that was kind of the sound; it feels like that's the last time Ibiza was really, really fun, when electro came out. [Laughs.] All the clubs were fun and phones only had s— cameras, so people didn't have their phones out, they were dancing. I wanted to make a fun electro track because I just loved that period.
Rose was perfect for it because she's kind of camp and a lot of fun. We wanted to make a sort of Cyndi Lauper "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" vibes as a positive start to the album. I didn't want the album to be doom and gloom, and I wanted a positive message. So this [song represents] that coming into an adult period when you're going out, you're strutting your stuff, getting ready to go out with the girls.
I also love the album's next track, "In The Night." I feel euphoria on that one as well, and maybe more of a '90s rave sound. Can you talk about that one as well?
It's mainly inspired by trance. That was another massive sound that was around when I was a teenager, maybe a bit younger. We had DJ Sammy and loads of stuff coming out of Europe, like Euro dance. I thought night clubbing was going to be like that when I turned 18 — loads of lasers and everyone is dancing to euphoric trance. It turns out it wasn't like that, but that was where the sound [inspiration] came from.
It's one of the first tracks I'm singing on. I'm a night owl, even before I became a DJ I would be up late by myself, overthinking. When I was writing the song, I started thinking, Oh, I'm always fighting myself in the night. It turned into a bit more of a fun dance track in the end.
How did you start that track?
I took the string instrument from another song, it was either "Can't Dance" or "Fight" and I used that to start it. I did that in a few songs, where I took something from one song and used it to start the next song to kick it off and also to make it a bit more cohesive with similar sounds in each song. I watched something about someone else doing that [technique].
What did it feel like bringing your vocals onto this album? Were you nervous or just kind of feeling like Why not?
A bit of both, to be honest. Working with other singers, you kind of lose control over the lyrical content and the meaning of a song and stuff like that. I wanted to bring even more of myself into the music, so the logical path to do that would be for me to be singing and writing.
It felt good, actually. I managed to get three songs where I'm singing lyrics I wrote that have meaning to me directly. No one else has had their own influence over those words or what they mean. I hope to do more of [that].
When you go into a session with a vocalist, are you typically bringing a track that's more or less finished or are you just coming in with some ideas and sounds?
I usually prefer to have a track, so I know what I want, and then I ask them to do something in that direction. With Rose [on "Girls"], I knew what I wanted and she got it, so we fell on the same page. Sometimes, I might take something someone else has written that I've come across and like how it sounds. Then I can build the track around it, rather than the other way around, which is easier for me because then it's less managing a person. Ideally, that's why I want to sing more because if I can just do it all myself, then it'll make my life easier and allow me to be more creative.
On the non-album single "Somebody" you worked with two legendary vocalists, Ellie Goulding and Gregory Porter. What did working with them feel like for you? And as a producer, how were you able to make sure that both of their voices worked together on the track?
That was a great experience. I wrote that in the studio with Ellie. It's amazing when you work with someone that's been around for a long time that's at the top of songwriting, you realize how much of a league above they are. Her ability to come up with something genius really quickly is insane. And her vocals are always flawless from the moment she opens her mouth.
We were in a session all day; we just talked for hours, completely unrelated to music, and then related to music. The song was written in the last hour. Ellie and I bonded over suffering from anxiety, so the song extended around some anxieties that she was going through at the time and I could totally relate. And it was inspired a lot by Massive Attack, those trip-hop sounds.
Gregory came on later as we were looking for a male vocalist. It was really a shame because he said he would have liked to have written a verse, but I didn't know that until the song came out. I love the song very much.
Do you have any other dream collabs that you would love to make happen?
I've always wanted to work with FKA twigs, I'm a big fan. The people I would collaborate with has changed; now I prefer to find new people. I find that fun and more interesting. I also like the idea of helping people by shining a light on a newer sound and singers. I guess it's the DJ in me. When I'm DJing, I want to find a song that no one else has played.
How do you choose who to work with and how do you find them? And what parameters do you have for someone that would be a good vocalist for you to work with?
There isn't really a parameter in terms of sound, it's more about uniqueness and tone and stuff like that. Ingrid [Witt, featured on "Azaleas" and "Drive"] emailed me from a post on Instagram [asking for singers to reach out]. Loads of really good singers came through; she just happened to have one of the quickest responses and she had the most unique voice as well. She gave me Kate Bush vibes, a little bit of Robyn, and her lyrical content was beautiful.
I like when people send me stuff. My promo email is in my bio on Instagram, so anyone can send me music. I've gotten loads of great DJ tracks that aren't signed or no one else is playing through that. Obviously, I have to go through a lot of emails, and sometimes there's a lot of things that shouldn't be sent to me, but there's always little gems.
We last spoke two years ago about Capricorn Sun, where you said you really just wanted to be happy and find more balance between time on the road and at home. Have you found more balance or has your life gotten crazier since then?
I'm not sure really, because after the album, I was like, Next year I'm gonna slow down, I'm gonna be a bit more chill. It wasn't more chill, I had about the same [number of] gigs, if not more. But I feel like I changed a little bit; I don't know what happened, but my anxiety decreased, so it made these things easier. That year before the album and just after the album, I was at my wit's end, really exhausted and touring felt really difficult. After that period, touring got better and I started to enjoy it more.
That wasn't from doing less, though, I think that was from changing my mindset a little bit and being more grateful, trying to shift away from the negative side of things and worrying less about doing well. You're always being judged when you're releasing music, so when you focus on where you're at all the time, it's really hard. I'm trying to just be happy in where I'm at. Some people will like the album, some people won't and I guess that's just life. These are things I'm not in control of. I've been trying to learn to not worry about these things because these are all decided by other people. All I could do is what I did; I made the music, I'm happy with it, and I show up at my gigs and do my best. I'm trying to focus on that.
What have felt like the biggest career highlights for you so far?
I used to say signing to Ninja Tune was my biggest highlight. I went on autopilot for quite a while, so anything that happened in that period I didn't really let myself acknowledge. I feel like now if something really sick happens, I'd be super happy. I'd actually celebrate it this time. I will feel them now. Bless me with something good, I'm ready.
On that note, what's something that would feel like a dream come true for you if it happened?
There're a few ones. Having a proper big club residency in Ibiza would be amazing. Winning some award — it doesn't even matter what it is — for the album would be nice. I guess you don't need awards, but it's nice when you get one because you feel people actually did take notice of your work.
This isn't music [-related], but if I buy a house in Ibiza that's got all the cool s— I want in it; my dream house with a roof terrace, then I'll be happy. It won't matter if my music does well because I've got this house in Ibiza. [Laughs.]