As with any time someone chooses to put their heart on the line, there’s a chance that it can be broken and kicked to the curb. For a decade, Syd, frontwoman for alt-rap/R&B group the Internet, has used this truth to bravely take audiences on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Listeners have experienced emotional loop-de-loops of sadness, reflection, and sensuality — all punctuated by memorable lyrics and melodies.
On her latest release, Broken Hearts Club, the Los Angeles native is in an even more reflective mood. The 13-track audio motion picture follows Syd as she heals from the worst breakup she’d ever had. The end of the relationship — which intertwined with the pandemic — caused her to completely rethink her place in the world, and within the music industry.
Released in April, Broken Hearts Club — a follow-up to her 2017 debut solo album, Fin — reflects those complex feelings, her signature airy voice cascading over production by Brandon Shoop ("CYBAH") and GRAMMY-winning acts like Troy Taylor ("Fast Car"), G Koop ("Out Loud"), and Rodney "Darkchild" Jenkins ("Control"). Yet, "after writing [it], I couldn’t go out [and perform] with what those songs sounded like,” Syd tells GRAMMY.com of the album's early development, post-breakup. Instead of letting that energy disrupt her peace — and creative process — Syd used Broken Hearts Club as a catalyst for her to practice healing and self-care.
In this exclusive sit-down with GRAMMY.com, Syd operates from a place of honesty. She discusses the importance of not letting bitterness take root, shares advice on finding peace as a plant parent, discusses the future of the Internet, and opines about her favorite record from Steve Lacy’s upcoming sophomore solo effort.
Let’s start with Broken Hearts Club, Syd. What were some of the standout moments you had while recording that you hope listeners have begun to learn after delving into the album?
I want people to hear this album and be reminded to cherish the good moments in a relationship. Even though it’s a project about a broken heart, most of it [contains] love songs. Sometimes we forget that heartbreak only lasts a few months, whereas my relationship, this specific relationship, lasted two years — and it was great for that time being.
Those three, four months that I was hurt, spoiled my memory of this beautiful relationship. I wanted to take this album and make it as beautiful as the union was. [I did not] even dwell on the fact that it ended or that I was so hurt. [Instead] I focused more on the love that we did have, the good times, and the triumphs of overcoming something as painful as heartbreak.
My situation went from a 10 to a one and all I could think to myself was, Dang, what did I do? She says, ‘Nothing,’ and I’m wondering aloud if there was anything I could do to fix it? It was a situation where I thought I must have done something, but all it was was that she wanted to date the opposite sex again. There’s nothing I can do about that. It made me feel hopeless [and] that was so tough.
It is important to protect your energy and live your truth. It doesn’t make sense to waste anyone’s time. In reading about how you dealt with your heartbreak, you became a plant parent. What advice would you give to people experiencing similar feelings who are first-timers diving into plant therapy after a breakup?
Great question! It’s quality over quantity [is how I’d start off.] Ironically, most plants prefer to be left alone. They just want to live. [Laughs] Just give them a little food, give them a little water, and leave their a** alone.
The hardest plants [in my home] have been the ones that I was too involved in. When you start with one plant, you just want to love on it so much. [But] sometimes the best way to love something is to leave it alone.
You mentioned having some bitterness in those early Broken Hearts Club songs that you were working on. What was the editing process like for you when carving away from those darker entries to get to this lightness that makes up the album?
I had to heal first. I had to dead-a** stop, go on a hiatus, and purposely not work on the album. Maybe it’s my Zodiac sign, but for me, my favorite form of "revenge" is a success. I said to myself, Well, f*** it, I’m going to take this album and make something [out] of this pain. In trying to do that, it only created more pain and more bitterness.
I would hit the playback and think that it sounded so gross. And personally, I don’t listen to low vibrational music. I love high vibes, music that’s uplifting, [but] doesn’t necessarily have to be happy. I mean Broken Hearts Club is not a happy-ass album. But I don’t really like sad songs, [and] so I wrote two sad songs and said, "This ain’t even me! Who is this? This is the most bitter I’ve ever sounded."
It was a reflection [of how I was feeling], but after writing a song, you get to sleep on it. I couldn’t go out with what those songs sounded like. Instead, it forced me to have to heal first and then get back to the music. "Dear April" by Frank Ocean helped me heal in a therapeutic way. I just cried a lot to that song and it helped me to have a release.
After that, I wrote two bitter songs before writing a third, which was "Goodbye My Love," and ended up on the album. I couldn’t record that song until I had healed. I wrote it in tears. Matter of fact, that beat came in and I was supposed to write to it for someone else’s album, and I had to text the producer to say I couldn’t sing this s*** without crying.
He was cool, saying, "Don’t worry about it. When the time is right, it’ll work," and that’s what happened. Eventually, I had healed from the relationship and I just had one more song to record…. [When] I could sing "Goodbye My Love" without crying and knew then and there that I had experienced some good healing.
It’s official that the next Internet album will be the final one, but does this mean that it’s an end for the band?
No, no, no. It’s just the last album in this era or iteration of how you’ve come to see us. The band has plans [laughs]. It will be our last Internet album for quite a while because everybody’s really happy and content right now. We’re enjoying life and chilling. We just want to live life before getting back into a studio, which we’re lucky enough to be able to do, so for us to take time off is important.
This is our last album with Columbia [Records], which has been a relationship we’ve been in for 10 years. We’ve been talking about creating our own label [and] signing ourselves. We want to create a situation for ourselves where we can work on our own ideas and trust each other's intentions because we’re real friends.
We don’t need to consult with anybody or play the industry game. We’ve always been independent at our core in just the way we operate. And so I think we’re excited to try a new structure of a deal. Mind you, we have a great relationship with Columbia, but we’re really looking toward the future and I would love for my next solo project to come out on an Internet-led label.
That’s a good segue into learning how you feel about how your music and the group have impacted music lovers around the world?
I hope that what I’ve done, what we’ve done as musicians, which is just expanding our horizons of what music can sound like, has inspired people to continue to live this thing called life. For me, music can sound as simple or as collegiate as you want it to. It can sound as weird or as basic as you want it to. We’ve given creatives, bedroom creatives at that, hope in numerous ways.
The Internet started out in two little bedrooms back in the day. I really hope that, if anything, we’ve inspired people to make the music they want to make just like how our music shaped us.
Speaking of how music shaped you all, I wanted to get your thoughts on that unreleased Steve Lacy song that he performed during 420. Everyone is hyped to hear what’s next from him, but what did you think when you heard it?
That song, which I don’t think has a name yet, is one of my favorites from his upcoming album. It might have been one of the first songs that I heard off his new record. He made it a while back, but it has been everybody’s favorite, low-key. There is another song that he played me that I think is going to close out the record that is ridiculous. It’s just beautiful and gorgeous at the same damn time.
But when I heard the album a few months ago, he said he was just adding some finishing touches. His mom and all of his sisters came through to hear my record before going into the booth to lay background vocals on a song for him. They did a few records, I believe, because his whole family sings — his mom, sisters, everybody.
Now that you’ve exited from the Broken Hearts Club and shared your feelings about experiencing an emotional loss — how do you see your next album shaping up?
I definitely want the next one to be more general topic-wise, more about what have we learned from this past experience. I’m already excited to get started, but I’ll probably wait until next year to get into it once this tour is over and when my deal is actually finished legally.
But just to let you know, I’m really happy to talk about what I’ve learned about myself and how much self-aware, self-confidence, and self-esteem I gained from that experience. I think it is just all-encompassing of knowing who I am, so let me tell you who I am. I think that’ll be the basis of the next album.
Maybe it’ll be self-titled or something [laughs], who knows?